What is it with men and formal dress?

Even when they are briefed for months about black tie requirements, there’s always that heart stopping moment when they arrive at an event casually dressed – or at best in a work suit – with no evidence of a suit carrier in hand …

My first experience of that moment was several years ago at an awards ceremony. A senior Scottish politician was to be the key note speaker … and he was running rather late. The champagne reception for finalists was at serious risk of running dry when the VIP cavalcade drew up.

He’d been sent all the briefing notes which clearly stated that the event was a black tie ‘do’ and he’d also been asked if he needed a room to change in, which he had declined saying he’d turn up at the event ‘ready to roll’. His staff had also been briefed. So it was a surprise when he exited the limo in office wear.
It was at this precise moment that my colleague, for some bizarre reason, started to eye up waiters. Half my brain was occupied with worrying about where we were going to find a dinner suit at 7pm, while the other half was frustrated that she’d chosen this moment to look for a bit of ‘eye candy’.

Then, she was off like an exorcet missile … the poor wine waiter didn’t stand a chance. But, she was actually way ahead of me and was measuring up potential waiters who looked about the size of our tardy politician.

As she wrestled with the wine waiter for his clothes, in walked the ministerial aide … complete with suit bag to save the day. The only thing he needed was a room to change in … in a hotel at maximum capacity?

My own transformation from day to evening wear had taken my usual 2 minutes and 20 seconds and had, as usual, resulted in a trail of destruction only usually found following natural disasters. But, there was nothing for it but to show the minister to my room scooping up my ‘smalls’ – okay my ‘mediums’… well if pushed my ‘larges’ – off the floor into a drawer.

The champagne reception bill may have been higher than expected … and the kitchen staff may have been blowing a gasket over the delay to the meal, but we finally kicked off the event with our suitable attired key note speaker.

Fast forward eight years and I’m back at the same hotel, handling PR for the same event. It’s 4pm, just two and a half hours to go to the champagne reception. This time the key note speaker is Nick Leeson – even he acknowledges that he will only ever be remembered as the man who brought down the bank – and there’s a queue of media to interview him.

We move into the ballroom for some TV shots against the Grampian Awards for Business Enterprise backdrop and everything looks on track – stage, backdrops, table dressings. As he’s waiting for the camera man to set up, he siddles over and whispers those words of dread …”It’s not a black tie do is it?”

And, before he’s even finished the question, I’m off… chasing wine waiters. “What size are you?” is my parting shot to Leeson, but to my utter dismay he says that apart from his collar size – he doesn’t know.

As I ambush a waiter and ‘assist him’ out of his jacket and force it onto the man who brought down the bank (or at least the first one to do so …) the hotel manager approaches obviously to protect his staff from aging PR ‘cougars’. Fortunately, he sizes up the situation and offers his own spare suits leaving me only to find a wing collar shirt and bow tie before the shops closed.

To all PRs out there – if you ever find yourself in this situation, Mr Leeson is a 17 ½ collar! Make sure your local gentlemen’s outfitters has one on stand-by for you… And… he’s a highly entertaining, self deprecating speaker.
(Photo of Nick Leeson at GABE)